She’s been at this a while. She’s right that I should teach other neurospicy people how to get out of the kitchen and into the game. I’ve been thinking about it for months years decades ever.
So here’s the attempt.
Below is a 14-minute, 30-second audio file. In it, I am trying to distill into a 30-second video.
I did not get to 30 seconds.
I got to 14:30.
This explainer wrapper, the thing you are reading right now, is four minutes of me explaining the 14 minutes of me trying to get the 30 seconds.
That’s the post. That’s the whole post.
How do you know somebody has autism? They told you they have autism.
Oversharing isn’t oversharing to us. We’re giving you the data because we live by data. You don’t need it. We need it. Because we don’t have the algorithm. We have to figure shit out by examining the data.
Kitten told me the 14-minute version is too raw. She’s not wrong. She told me to temper my words. She’s also asking me to be autistic without being autistic, which is a request my wiring cannot honor. I have no filters. I don’t have those algorithms. I am trying to be authentic to what I think is being me, and someone who loves me is telling me to be something else, and I don’t know how to be anyone else. I barely know how to be myself. And myself got me here.
She means well. She is right, for someone who is non-divergent.
I do not have the wiring to pull off what she is telling me to do.
Tesla, the man, and not the car, didn’t reel himself in. And well, neither can I.
The 14-minute audio is above. Listen to it. Don’t listen to it. Hit me in the comments. I’m an engineer. Take shots. Send love. Send expired Pollo Tropical coupons. I’ll take active or expired.
Welcome to autism, kids.
